The Mindset Shift That Will Transform Your Life

Everyone knows that one person who never seems to run out of things to complain about. Even when something good happens, they somehow find a way to suck the air out of the room. It’s always about them—me, mine, and more. And when they get their way, nothing changes—at least not about them. They remain the same joyless observer of life, watching the fun instead of having it or creating it.

And if they do manage to enjoy something, it’s usually at someone else’s expense. They thrive on cutting others down, absentmindedly judging. They’re the ones holding up the wall, waiting for you to come off the dance floor so they can lean in and tell you how badly that one poorly dressed person dances.

As soon as someone shares a success, they hijack the moment, pulling the conversation back to themselves. There’s no sharing in the joy, or appreciation for what’s important. Instead, they whisper their judgment, poisoning the atmosphere one quiet complaint at a time.

Can’t think of this person? Maybe it’s you.

I'd Rather Listen

The Mirror Test

Take a look at your life. Really look. Do the people you spend time with answer your calls because they want to, or because they have no one else to talk to? Do you admire the people you hang with, or are you just bonded by misery and shared negativity?

Have you been stuck for too long—waiting on a break, a promotion, an opportunity, or that win that always feels just out of reach? Are the people around you growing, thriving, and moving forward, while you stay in the same place, losing touch with them—and yourself—over time?

If you feel a sting right now, let it sit for a moment. That feeling is an indication worth paying attention to. Maybe this isn’t all of you. Maybe it’s just a part of you. Maybe you’re not the full-time joy thief, but you’ve got a habit of stealing moments, creating voids, simply because you don’t know how to see things differently.

Maybe you roll your eyes at people who get excited about “stupid” things, judging them because they’re not as smart, perceptive, or “realistic” as you.

But smart how?

When you point a finger, three fingers point back at you. So let’s get real: using your own values, what are you not smart at?

How about making people feel like you care?
How about winning friends and influencing people?
How about building the kind of relationships that make people want to catch you when you fall and cheer for you on the way up?

The Real Problem: Your Thoughts

It may not have been easy to see before now, but just so we are absolutely clear, the problem isn’t out there—it’s in your head. Your thoughts are the problem.

This is the part where some fickle people tune out. Their inner voice starts saying, This sounds hard. This is work. Maybe this isn’t for me. That’s the same voice keeping you stuck uncomfortably, right where you are. Don’t let it. This is right where you win, and take back control.

The good news is this: if your thoughts are the problem, your thoughts can also be the solution. Change your thoughts, and you change your life.

Awareness Is a Gift You Can Give Yourself, Intentionally

Awareness of your own thoughts—the ability to step back and observe your thinking—isn’t just a skill; it’s the foundation for intentional growth. This process, known as metacognition, is the act of thinking about your thoughts. It’s like holding a mirror up to your mind and asking, “What’s really going on here?”

Metacognition gives you the power to monitor, question, and reprogram your thinking. It helps you catch yourself when an old, toxic thought creeps in. It’s how you pause before reacting—so you can respond in a way that aligns with who you want to become.

Want to test your awareness? Try this: the next time you feel frustrated or angry, stop and ask yourself, “What’s the story I’m telling myself right now? Is it true? Is it helpful?” This simple act of self-reflection breaks the automatic loop of negativity and gives you a chance to rewrite it.

Metacognition isn’t about beating yourself up for every bad thought—it’s about catching those thoughts before they spiral. When you practice metacognition, you’re building the mental muscles needed to monitor, repair, and replace the ideas that no longer serve you. Over time, this practice creates space for better, healthier thoughts to take root, transforming not just how you think, but how you live.

The Power of Replacing Bad Thoughts

The first time you retire a bad idea with a better one, something strange happens. Your brain has to reconcile the fact that you lived and believed that bad thought for so long without realizing how much it sucked. What else in your life might be that way?

That realization is uncomfortable—but it’s necessary.

When you start seeing how old ways of thinking held you back, you unlock a powerful opportunity: the chance to replace them with better ones. Once you’ve experienced that levity of freeing those impinged wings, you’ll never allow yourself to go back to where you have come from.

Start actively monitoring your thoughts. Don’t miss the chance to course correct and replace bad ones as they show up.

Gratitude: The Cornerstone of Fulfillment

Gratitude isn’t just a trendy hashtag—it’s the awareness of what it might be like to live without what you have. Think about that.

What would it feel like if everything you’ve been taking for granted—the people, the opportunities, the gifts—suddenly disappeared?

No matter the darkness, the guy with four toes can be grateful he still has a foot. The overworked server, behind on promises to their family, can be grateful they still have work when so many others don’t. The person who once took their time and relationships for granted can still be grateful for the chance to make things right as they still have at least one more day.

No matter where you are in your life, if you apply yourself with integrity, even just SOME integrity, you can find yourself something to be grateful for. Find all you can.

Personal Story: My Wake-Up Call

I once heard someone describe paying a supercar’s worth in taxes as a “good problem.” I thought I was going to puke. I was broke, and they were rich. For everything I was that they weren’t, the idea of seeing that as a blessing instead of a burden felt I was being cheated out of something. How could someone think like that?

That moment stuck with me. I thought, What if the only difference between us is how we think? How could I test this to know if it’s true?

So, I set a trap for myself: IF I wake up, ‘which I had everyday before’, and my feet hit the ground, ‘also true for everyday’, THEN I’ll think of all the things I’m grateful for on my way to the shower, which I did every morning.

At first, the list was lean. Warm water was an easy thing to be aware of. But over time, my gratitude grew—and within 30 days, my life was completely and truly unrecognizable.

Choosing to inventory the good things in your life—every single day—is a higher-conscious way of living. At first, it’s just an ember, but soon it becomes an inferno. The more you practice, the more it actually rewires your mind, reshapes your perspective, and changes your life.

The Simple Art of Good

Once you start changing your thoughts, you’ll need to build habits to keep that light growing. One of the most powerful practices is doing good for others without expecting anything in return.

Be kind, even when there’s no obvious benefit to you. Call someone by their name. Look them in the eye. Ask how their day is going—and actually listen.

When you add kindness to someone else’s life, something shifts inside you. Slowly, but undeniably, you’ll notice things aren’t like they were before. Everything feels different. Everything is different—all because you are different.

“We don’t see the world the way it is. We see the world the way we are.”

That’s a quote by Anaïs Nin. It’s really pretty straight forward. If you want to change the world you see, start with the one doing the seeing: you.

Realize that the energy you bring into the world is the energy the world reflects back to you. If you’ve ever heard the saying, “What goes around comes around,” then you already know this truth: the kindness, gratitude, and goodness you put out always have a way of finding their way back.

Pro Tip: Starve the Negative Stream

Negative energy creeps into your mind, drip by drip, until it pools into something overwhelming. Starve that stream. Stop feeding the negativity that drains you, and instead, redirect your focus to what uplifts you: gratitude, kindness, and the good already in your life.

Aspire to make your energy, thoughts, and actions so good, so powerful, that everything you touch becomes better simply because you were there.

That kind of person is needed everywhere.

Thoughts Are Things

This isn’t a gimmick or wishful thinking—it’s a process. And once you commit to it, you’ll discover this truth: your thoughts don’t just shape your life—they are the foundation of it.

Thoughts become actions. Actions set off ripples that define who you are.

Choose better ones. Choose only the best ones. Over time, you’ll find there’s no room left for anything less.

Your mindset is the foundation of everything you do. If you’re ready to stop letting negative thoughts run the show, The Self-Work Blueprint will help you break those patterns, shift your focus, and rewire your thinking for success. Get the free five-part audio series and companion guide here.

GET IT NOW!

Who am I, you ask?

I am a God-fearing husband, father, and believer in the power of thought. The way you think shapes the way you live—your mindset is either building your future or keeping you stuck in the past. Too many people let their thoughts control them instead of learning to control their thoughts. My goal? To help you challenge the beliefs that hold you back, shift your perspective, and take ownership of your life—because real change always starts in the mind.

Here’s to you and your journey on becoming

the best version of yourself!